September 30, 2019
(amirite.com)
Because liberals can never seem to get enough of telling others exactly how to live their lives, Oprah Winfrey admonished us all to heed her advice and get our flu shots. After developing a case of pneumonia from an overseas trip, Winfrey spoke on the “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” and mooed, “Don’t play with it, get your flu shots. Get your pneumonia shots. It’s nothing to play with. It takes people out. But I’m telling you, it changed the way I look at wellness.”
As much as I do love getting “wellness” advice from a woman who’s spent her entire public life 80 pounds overweight, I think I can take quite good care of myself without her fat ass butting in. When it was noted that “TODAY” anchor Savannah Guthrie and “The View” host Whoopi Goldberg were also recently afflicted with the same infection, it occurred to me: Maybe it’s just a virus that affects unattractive, liberal, loudmouth asshole talk show hosts. If so, I’m rooting for a pandemic.