In Defense of Michael Phelps

 

 

February 4, 2009

 

So the media has found its quarry, and is now doing what it does best: tearing down the very heroes they created, fawned over, and exalted to Brobdingnagian stature. The sanctimonious media which tanked, in all its white guilt, to ensure we have a black president, are now finding moral compass in assassinating the character of a hugely successful, likable, and driven 23-year old who happened to enjoy a few tokes of the good herb at a South Carolina frat party.

 

These sportswriters (and I use the term “writer” loosely)—you know, the ones who charge their papers for 3-martini lunches and hoard the free liquor in the press box—are wringing their hands about the coming end of the world as we know it because Michael Phelps indulged in something any normal 23-year old should indulge in.

 

Never mind that Phelps works harder in one day than these fat louts work in their entire lives; in their minds, Phelps signals the beginning of the end. Phelps is a role model they cry…but Charles Barkley disabused us of any such notions years ago, and in a world where nudity, violence, and misogyny are the Holy Trinity of pop culture, it’s laughable that Phelps is being pilloried as he is.

 

The very language used by the vast majority of the writers is indicative of how ignorant they are about a subject of which they shoot their mouths off. Virtually every piece I read on the topic referred to Phelps smoking a “bong pipe.” NO ONE…and I mean NO ONE says “bong pipe.” You smoke out of a bong, or you smoke out of a pipe, NO ONE smokes out of a “bong pipe.” But when have journalists ever let their ignorance stand in the way of a good story?

 

Jemele Hill, the race-baiting writer for ESPN, who was suspended last year for making an ill-advised reference to Adolf Hitler in one of her columns, was on ESPN in recent days, lecturing Phelps about his indiscretions, and of course, pointing out how much money he will lose in endorsements. I find it curious how all the pious media always translate everything into dollars and cents—as if the set-for-life Phelps will really be hurt by a few lost endorsements. Hill, who will accomplish far less in her life than Phelps has already accomplished in his, has the temerity to tell the Olympian how he should be spending his free time. I can’t wait for her tutorial for Tiger Woods on how to hit a 175-yard cut shot.

 

And Pat Forde, another ESPN hack, writes in one of his pieces how his impressionable progeny, budding young swimmers they, have seen their world affected by this “crashing news.” Forde trots out all the bromides about role-models and obligations, never realizing that Phelps’ influence is minimal and has slipped through the cracks in a youth culture dominated by luminaries like Fifty Cent, Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, and rapist Kobe Bryant. He doesn’t even see the irony in the fact that today’s children wouldn’t be caught dead doing anything of a physical nature if it involved anything more than pulling themselves from in front of their computers or idiot boxes to waddle their corpulent asses to the fridge.

 

Phelps is a 14-time gold medal-winner who is by all accounts a hard-worker (DUH!!), generous, and a respectful young man. He is free to come out my way anytime to smoke some of the good California medicinal…perhaps the perfect prescription for the uptight, self-righteous media members now standing in line to tear down the monster they created.

Charles Being Charles

October 29, 2008

 

So Charles Barkley is at it again. His mouth flows like the river Nile, but people keep giving him a platform, and for some reason he never seems to get called out for his ridiculous pronouncements because…..it’s CHARLES BEING CHARLES!!!!!

 

Just as a certain Dodgers’ outfielder has all his sociopathic peccadillos dismissed as “Manny being Manny,” Barkley is the Teflon Don of loudmouthed ex-jocks. Several years ago he blurts, “That’s why I hate white people,” and that’s just “CHARLES BEING CHARLES.” He spits on a fan and it’s “CHARLES BEING CHARLES.” He throws someone through a plate-glass window and it’s “CHARLES BEING CHARLES.” John Rocker wishes he had it so good.

 

Well, maybe “Charles being Charles” is code for “Charles being a friggin’ idiot.” Barkley knows all about code words…or so he says. In a recent interview with CNN’s Campbell Brown, Sir Charles opined that the Republican Party uses code words like welfare, terrorist, and Muslim to disguise their racist views. He also added, “The only way they can win this election is to make it about race. That’s the only way they can win it.”

 

Never mind that the McCain camp has not once mentioned race in the campaign, and has even eschewed what would surely be a winning tactic…establishing the Messiah’s blatant racism by being all- Reverend Wright, all the time. And never mind that Muslim terrorists took down the World Trade Center seven years ago. Charles wants to wrap them in a loving embrace.

 

The thing is this—Barkley is just another left-leaning Democratic hypocrite. It wasn’t too long ago that Barkley considered himself conservative (probably since he’s rich enough to cavalierly dismiss million dollar gambling losses), but put a black man into the race and the self-anointed master of race relations switches sides. Who’s the racist now?? Come to think of it, he has put on enough weight over the years to look smashing alongside fat cats Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barney Frank, and the other millionaire Democrats who are so concerned with the plight of the common man.

 

Charles claims he shudders whenever he hears the word “conservative,” as if it’s only the Republican Party doing the raping and pillaging in our government. But he doesn’t mention the video that surfaced today of Dianne Wilkerson, a black Democrat stuffing bribe money in her bra, or William Jefferson, the black Democrat from Louisiana, currently facing trial on racketeering and bribery charges after FBI officials found $90,000 stuffed in his freezer. And he doesn’t mention the battleground state of Michigan where Democratic governor Jennifer Granholm and Kwame Kilpatrick, Detroit’s black Democrat mayor have run that state into the ground. Kilpatrick will have lots of time to ponder how to get Detroit back on track while he sits in jail for essentially partying too much on the public dime.

 

Now lest you think I have it in for Democrats or want to stifle free speech, let me assure you nothing could be further from the truth. I detest Republicans (or anyone holding public office), and I believe short of yelling “fire” in a crowded theater, anyone should be able to say whatever moves them. It’s the double-standard I object to. The Golf Channel’s Kelly Tilghman makes a 100% innocuous remark about Tiger Woods and she’s thrown under the bus and suspended; John McCain innocently refers to Barack as “that one” during a debate and he’s branded a racist, but Charles prattles on and on with impunity. I wonder if he’ll be asked to apologize for his most recent gaffe when he lampooned Isaiah Thomas’ recent drug overdose by inferring the Knicks would be better this year since their new coach probably won’t try to commit suicide.

 

Probably not, since the liberal media genuflects (on their knees and with their mouths open, no doubt) at the altar of “Sir Charles” simply because he’s a “good sound bite.”

I have no problem with Charles speaking his mind…I’ll even admit I admire him for saying what no one else will…but Sir Charles, please let others speak their minds as well without you and your ilk screaming racism at every turn.