Tag: Kobe Bryant

Election Day Provides Forum for Americans to Display Their Stupidity…Again!

November 3, 2010

 

 

 

I should have known better. I really should have known better. I went to the polls yesterday buoyed by the thought that this might really be the day. Fed up with the entire political process, I had not voted in 26 years, my own form of protest to a rigged game orchestrated by a handful of insiders. But this election, I was convinced, would be different. Inspired by the Tea Party movement, the rallies in Washington, and widespread anger at town hall meetings across the country, I registered to vote and actually believed that this election would be the turning point. I thought this would be the moment where the American people would finally have the balls to pull a third-party lever and sweep out the entrenched life-long politicians who have run this county into the ground.

 

Alas, as is so often the case, I came away disappointed. Nothing has changed; the American people are as stupid as ever. We are, after all, talking about a country that made Friends and Cheers the most watched television shows for years on end, a country that actually pays money to go see Justin Bieber, a country that worships rapists like Kobe Bryant, and wife-beaters like Charlie Sheen and O.J., a country that goes along when “well-meaning” politicians ban cigarettes and trans fats.

 

Knowing all that, I suppose I should have suppressed my pie-in-the-sky dreams, and sat this one out as well, because in the end, my vote didn’t matter. I refused to tally a vote for a single Democrat or Republican, instead confining my research to, and voting for, the best candidate among the Independents, Libertarians, and other various contenders.

 

But I was a cry in the wilderness. In my state of California, with two races too close to call, EVERY SINGLE incumbent in the House was re-elected. 49-0…simply staggering.   This tally includes Maxine Waters, a life-long leech of the system who is now under investigation for ethics violations; Nancy Pelosi…enough said; Barbara Boxer, a career politician who has been at the helm for much of the state’s slide into bankruptcy. But it gets better…the tree-huggers of this wonderful state also put Jerry Brown back into the governor’s mansion…the same Jerry Brown who started draining state coffers as governor years ago by doling out untenable pensions to anyone who could fog a mirror. His track record of abysmal failure is astonishing, but he’s good enough for California. So much for the peasant uprising.

 

It was this way all across the country. In New York, of the 27 House races decided, 23 were won by incumbents. Charles Rangel, perhaps the most corrupt man in Congress, won with 80% of the vote. Both the state’s incumbent Senators won handily.

 

Other luminaries being sent back for more pork are the illustrious Harry Reid, the vile John McCain, and our favorite–the bloated, lisping pig from Massachusetts by the name of Barney Frank, who has run male prostitute rings out of his home, but who, more importantly, almost single-handedly caused the housing crash with his nefarious machinations at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

 

Two years ago, a fed-up American populace gave Republicans the heave-ho, but somehow they’ve become the saviors again, and in two more years, the cycle will repeat itself when the people realize the Republicans are still…well, Republicans. Nice work, America, now move along, Jersey Shore is about to come on.

In Defense of Michael Phelps

 

 

February 4, 2009

 

So the media has found its quarry, and is now doing what it does best: tearing down the very heroes they created, fawned over, and exalted to Brobdingnagian stature. The sanctimonious media which tanked, in all its white guilt, to ensure we have a black president, are now finding moral compass in assassinating the character of a hugely successful, likable, and driven 23-year old who happened to enjoy a few tokes of the good herb at a South Carolina frat party.

 

These sportswriters (and I use the term “writer” loosely)—you know, the ones who charge their papers for 3-martini lunches and hoard the free liquor in the press box—are wringing their hands about the coming end of the world as we know it because Michael Phelps indulged in something any normal 23-year old should indulge in.

 

Never mind that Phelps works harder in one day than these fat louts work in their entire lives; in their minds, Phelps signals the beginning of the end. Phelps is a role model they cry…but Charles Barkley disabused us of any such notions years ago, and in a world where nudity, violence, and misogyny are the Holy Trinity of pop culture, it’s laughable that Phelps is being pilloried as he is.

 

The very language used by the vast majority of the writers is indicative of how ignorant they are about a subject of which they shoot their mouths off. Virtually every piece I read on the topic referred to Phelps smoking a “bong pipe.” NO ONE…and I mean NO ONE says “bong pipe.” You smoke out of a bong, or you smoke out of a pipe, NO ONE smokes out of a “bong pipe.” But when have journalists ever let their ignorance stand in the way of a good story?

 

Jemele Hill, the race-baiting writer for ESPN, who was suspended last year for making an ill-advised reference to Adolf Hitler in one of her columns, was on ESPN in recent days, lecturing Phelps about his indiscretions, and of course, pointing out how much money he will lose in endorsements. I find it curious how all the pious media always translate everything into dollars and cents—as if the set-for-life Phelps will really be hurt by a few lost endorsements. Hill, who will accomplish far less in her life than Phelps has already accomplished in his, has the temerity to tell the Olympian how he should be spending his free time. I can’t wait for her tutorial for Tiger Woods on how to hit a 175-yard cut shot.

 

And Pat Forde, another ESPN hack, writes in one of his pieces how his impressionable progeny, budding young swimmers they, have seen their world affected by this “crashing news.” Forde trots out all the bromides about role-models and obligations, never realizing that Phelps’ influence is minimal and has slipped through the cracks in a youth culture dominated by luminaries like Fifty Cent, Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, and rapist Kobe Bryant. He doesn’t even see the irony in the fact that today’s children wouldn’t be caught dead doing anything of a physical nature if it involved anything more than pulling themselves from in front of their computers or idiot boxes to waddle their corpulent asses to the fridge.

 

Phelps is a 14-time gold medal-winner who is by all accounts a hard-worker (DUH!!), generous, and a respectful young man. He is free to come out my way anytime to smoke some of the good California medicinal…perhaps the perfect prescription for the uptight, self-righteous media members now standing in line to tear down the monster they created.