Election Day Provides Forum for Americans to Display Their Stupidity…Again!

November 3, 2010

 

 

 

I should have known better. I really should have known better. I went to the polls yesterday buoyed by the thought that this might really be the day. Fed up with the entire political process, I had not voted in 26 years, my own form of protest to a rigged game orchestrated by a handful of insiders. But this election, I was convinced, would be different. Inspired by the Tea Party movement, the rallies in Washington, and widespread anger at town hall meetings across the country, I registered to vote and actually believed that this election would be the turning point. I thought this would be the moment where the American people would finally have the balls to pull a third-party lever and sweep out the entrenched life-long politicians who have run this county into the ground.

 

Alas, as is so often the case, I came away disappointed. Nothing has changed; the American people are as stupid as ever. We are, after all, talking about a country that made Friends and Cheers the most watched television shows for years on end, a country that actually pays money to go see Justin Bieber, a country that worships rapists like Kobe Bryant, and wife-beaters like Charlie Sheen and O.J., a country that goes along when “well-meaning” politicians ban cigarettes and trans fats.

 

Knowing all that, I suppose I should have suppressed my pie-in-the-sky dreams, and sat this one out as well, because in the end, my vote didn’t matter. I refused to tally a vote for a single Democrat or Republican, instead confining my research to, and voting for, the best candidate among the Independents, Libertarians, and other various contenders.

 

But I was a cry in the wilderness. In my state of California, with two races too close to call, EVERY SINGLE incumbent in the House was re-elected. 49-0…simply staggering.   This tally includes Maxine Waters, a life-long leech of the system who is now under investigation for ethics violations; Nancy Pelosi…enough said; Barbara Boxer, a career politician who has been at the helm for much of the state’s slide into bankruptcy. But it gets better…the tree-huggers of this wonderful state also put Jerry Brown back into the governor’s mansion…the same Jerry Brown who started draining state coffers as governor years ago by doling out untenable pensions to anyone who could fog a mirror. His track record of abysmal failure is astonishing, but he’s good enough for California. So much for the peasant uprising.

 

It was this way all across the country. In New York, of the 27 House races decided, 23 were won by incumbents. Charles Rangel, perhaps the most corrupt man in Congress, won with 80% of the vote. Both the state’s incumbent Senators won handily.

 

Other luminaries being sent back for more pork are the illustrious Harry Reid, the vile John McCain, and our favorite–the bloated, lisping pig from Massachusetts by the name of Barney Frank, who has run male prostitute rings out of his home, but who, more importantly, almost single-handedly caused the housing crash with his nefarious machinations at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

 

Two years ago, a fed-up American populace gave Republicans the heave-ho, but somehow they’ve become the saviors again, and in two more years, the cycle will repeat itself when the people realize the Republicans are still…well, Republicans. Nice work, America, now move along, Jersey Shore is about to come on.

Tiger in the Tank

February 19, 2010

 

Well, it finally happened. Tiger Woods went down the road of all sniveling cowards this morning when he delivered the “heartfelt” apology that the media has been demanding for the past three months. Up to this point, I, like many others, had been disappointed by the golf great’s marital indiscretions, but I had at least held out hope that Woods would have the courage to continue delivering his hearty middle-finger salute to the media jackals insisting on an apology that NO ONE, outside his family and friends, is entitled to.

 

That Tiger would lower himself with such a charade is my biggest letdown of this entire tawdry affair. The man whose trademark has always been a confident swagger looked every bit like Sylvester Stallone trying to emote as he faked his way through the orchestrated dog and pony show with all the robotic sincerity of the Manchurian Candidate. Tiger spoke of core beliefs and spiritual awakenings, but there was plenty of time for soul-searching in the three-plus years that he was crossing the globe porking anyone that could fog a mirror. If you believe one of the dime-store sluts he was hooking up with, Woods was slipping the Jimmy to her while his wife was delivering one of their children. Seems like that may have been a good time to rethink his ways, but alas, it appears family wasn’t that important until endorsement contracts started drying up.

 

Tiger has more money than he will ever know what to do with, and if privacy and family were really his primary concern, he would have continued his silence and eventually returned to the golf course, sans sponsorship, and with the insistence that he would speak to the media only of golf. This morning’s statement looks like nothing more than a desperate act to recapture his adoring corporate sponsors, and for what? I, for one, thought he would at least announce when he would be making a return to golf, but absent that, what was the point? If he thinks the relentless media assault will be any less severe after today, he’s not as smart as we’ve all been giving him credit for. Until he answers questions outside of his controlled cocoon, the media savages will tear him limb to limb, and if, as many say, he is fulfilling some part of a “twelve-step program,” is this not the most insincere manner of doing so? Would it not be more appropriate to meet face-to-face with those he’s hurt and apologize from the heart?

 

Those who insist that Woods let down his sponsors and fans need to grow up and look in the mirror. A vast majority of the pious hypocrites calling for his hide have committed similar, if not worse, violations of their own marriages, and the argument that Woods marketed himself as a family man while reaping mega-contracts is only valid if we subject everyone to the same standard. Charlie Sheen and serial philanderer Michael Jordan appear in ads together selling underwear, even as Sheen appears in the tabloids seemingly every week for a sundry list of indiscretions including drug and alcohol abuse, and domestic violence, but I have yet to see anyone hold his feet to the fire. The list of bad people shilling products is endless, and it’s utterly despicable that some are holding Tiger to a higher standard than politicians who rape and pillage their constituency, teachers who sleep with their students, and priest who molest little boys.

 

Tiger committed no crimes (other than a speculative drunk-driving violation on Thanksgiving night), and owes nothing to the Pollyanas who still believe in Santa Claus or the media whores who spent the day gleefully ranking celebrity apologies and fretting that Woods hadn’t debased himself quite enough for their liking. Gloria Allred tried to cash in on the debacle by staging her own press conference this afternoon with her client– a weepy porn star, who insisted she was in love with Woods and was owed an apology–trouble is, I couldn’t tell which one was the whore.

 

I have always been a Tiger Woods fan, and I won’t pretend that I’m not going to watch him play when he returns, because despite his failings, he is simply beautiful to watch on a golf course. I only wish that he confined his entertainment value to that venue, and not slipped into the reality show miasma of the “celebrity apology.”