Like A Virgin?? Hardly!

October 20, 2016

So foul-mouthed slut and perennial skank Madonna has injected herself into this tawdry presidential election by announcing during a Madison Square Garden event that, “If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blowjob.”  “And I’m good,” the 58-year old has-been continued, “I’m not a tool.  I take my time.”  Perhaps not enough time to do it right, however, as the slatternly strumpet has been unable to hold on to two husbands and has been ditched more times than a poor driver on icy roads.  Nevertheless, one can almost hear Hillary’s lecherous pedophile husband gleefully revving up the jet engines for the Garden at the prospect of a whore like Madonna entering the Clinton camp—“Stronger Together,” indeed.

Since Hillary long ago abdicated conjugal relations with Slick Willy to White House interns and underage girls, she no doubt welcomes someone as vile as she to service the withering, amoral ex-president.  This frees her to spend more time muff-diving Huma Abedin, who has her own hands full trying to distance herself from Anthony “Carlos Danger” Weiner, her repugnant ex-congressman husband who is currently trying to parry criminal charges for sexting underage girls (do you see a theme here?) with his infant child present.  They’re a real bunch of class acts these degenerate Democrats who have spent the last two weeks feigning indignation that Donald Trump engaged in locker room badinage eleven years ago during a private conversation.

But, alas, Slick Willy may be disappointed to discover that Democrats don’t keep their promises, so the infelicitously named Madonna may not be guzzling the ex-prez’s AIDS-infected jizz after all.  No word yet on if Michelle Obama has been shaken to her core.

A-Rod the Nimrod

March 22, 2009


If you need the perfect example of unbridled hubris all you need to do is look at the cover of the most recent Details magazine. There you’ll see, in all his glory, Alex Rodriguez, the choke-artist third baseman for the Yankees, with his sleeves rolled up to reveal his steroid-enhanced, over-inflated biceps.


It would take a greater mind than mine to guess which is bigger, his arms or his ego. This, I suppose, is what passes for contrition in the world of baseball, where everyone lies until they’re busted, and players like Rodriguez, who come up small when it matters most, have a sense of entitlement to rival members of Congress. But A-Rod, who has always been faint of heart, be it with two runners on in the ninth, or while witnessing the birth of his child, has the balls to grace the Details cover–a mere month after being exposed for steroid use–thoroughly unashamed that the big numbers he has posted (albeit very few in post-season) came from a jar. Shame is clearly no consideration for a great guy who would dump his wife for a strumpet like Madonna.


But birds of a feather flock together, so the juicer and the lip-syncher should make beautiful music together. Rodriguez has always been hyper-sensitive to criticism, but this will be one year where he can’t claim he doesn’t like being needled.